From Vietnam, two years ago

I just stepped out of a cab after dinner, and a woman in a pointed straw hat carrying a couple of baskets spotted me.

“Hello!” she shouted, and stepped up to the open door.

I ignored her and walked toward my hotel. She tried again.

“Bananas?” she whispered quietly, changing the ploy altogether.

04:00 pm, by cakeordeath 2  |  Comments

An incomplete life list

This is an unfinished life list that I’ve had sitting in drafts for … at least two years, because some of these are completed now. So here’s my now-updated, unfinished (both in items to be included, as well as completion of items) life list, just as a checkpoint now.

  • Run a marathon
  • Hike the Himalayas (amemded to: see the Himalayas)
  • Visit Rome, the Vatican, see the Sistene Chapel and Pieta (DONE!)
  • Learn to play chess
  • Drive a Zamboni
  • Do an Ironman 
  • Write a book
  • Read “Les Miserables” (considering removing)
  • Sell a photo (DONE!)

I plan to think on this some more and really update it soon.

08:00 am, by cakeordeath  Comments

Classes taught at Retro Fitness

  • Hay Baling (Daylight Savings Time Only)
  • Group 2-Mile Hike Into Town to Buy Salt Pork and Calico, Sponsored by Ed’s General Store
  • Calisthenics (Knee Socks and High-Top Converse Required)
  • Just Jacks (TM), a Special Holiday Two-Hour Jumping Jacks Workout
  • Jazzercize (Every Hour on the Hour)

Replace electrolytes after your workout with flat Coke and sugar cubes!

(One per member. For extra sugar, see Ed.)

09:10 pm, by cakeordeath 1  |  Comments

A restaurant for the ages

This is a LiveJournal (aww, LJ) from back in the day that my friend Lizzie and I collaborated on (I’m maliavale), and she emailed it to me this week after a spambot found it and left her a lovely and relevant message. Behold:

in our downtime, the lovely maliavale and I have decided to open a
restaurant. the name is still up in the air, but we have decided on
many menu items, with a few assists from nabbalicious, and the theme
is very clear. see if you can figure it out!

requests are welcome. soon we will have little suggestion cards with
small pencils and checkboxes.

Fleetwood Mac & Cheese
Paul Westerburger on a Morrisseed bun with Aimee Mannonaise
Split P. Diddy Soup
Culture Club Sandwich
Grilled Cheese Incident
Beach Po’Boys
Gwen Stew-fani
Paul McCartney & Buffalo Wings

Sides will include:
Nat King Coleslaw
Bread Zeppelin
Al Green Salad

Your dessert options are currently limited to Cream Puff Daddy, Red
Velvet Elvis Cake, and - for some reason, Maliavale insists on this -
Bowl of Eminems.

and of course for beverages, or Refreshments, if you will, which we will:
Wilco-ca-Cola
Neutral Milkshake Hotel

Youngsters may order from the Destiny’s Child’s Menu. And if you come
Tuesday evening, check out the special: Three Chili Dog Night!

11:25 pm, by cakeordeath  Comments