Cake or Death?

2010

December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January 4

2009

December 15
November 8
October 11
September 5
August 26
July 10
June 9
May 12
April 17
March 18
February 30
January 55

2008

December 21
November 39
October 45
September 49
August 54
July 45
June 50
May 40
April 54
March 45
February 48
January 10

There's always a 'Miss' before 'Annie...

I wrote the most amazing concert review in my head while watching St. Vincent and Foreign Born last...
Mar 1st
(Via garfieldminusgarfield, to which I was tipped off by my...
Feb 29th

Blowing my mind like only calendar facts...

“As the calendar flips over to March this weekend, take a minute to contemplate this: This...
Feb 29th

Come on in, the water's fine

Over in my old blog community, many of the writers are doing this “blog share” thing...
Feb 28th

On language

I love that yoga is called a ‘practice.’ It feels like I can do it forever, always...
Feb 28th

The road to misunderstanding is paved...

Most of the time I’m approached about donating money for a cause, it’s usually to...
Feb 27th
'Norway's prime minister opens doomsday seed...
Feb 26th

Flashback!

I just signed up for Photojojo’s time capsule that works with Flickr, and it reminded me that...
Feb 26th

Curiously strong

Why is it that we align ourselves with slogans? I see this on away messages a lot, blog kicker text,...
Feb 25th

Disappointed gargoyle

notrgb: Don't worry about me -- I will just think of your face when it is mad
Baltimary: picture me being really despondent
Baltimary: dagger-eyes
Baltimary: and disappointed cheeks
notrgb: depressed nose
notrgb: unrelenting eyebrows
notrgb: traumatized nostrils
notrgb: irritable ear lobes
notrgb: I know them all
Feb 25th

Cheerful spamment of the day

“Thanks for a beautiful site! I have added you in elected! Necessarily I shall advise your...
Feb 25th

I'm outta heeeeeeeeere

I just left an Oscars viewing party where the rule seemed to be who could out-sarcastic the others,...
Feb 25th
I'll give you $50 if you can tell me who sings the vroom-vroom song.
"Leader of the Pack"?
Yeah!
I totally know this. It's some girl group, with a really girly-sounding name.
Mm-hmm.
The Nannies!
... You sexist asshole! Why don't you just call them The Breast-Feeding Moms?
The Kitchenettes!
The Pie-Bakers!
The Carpoolers!
The Naggers!
Feb 24th
Feb 24th

Words that can substitute for 'elephant'

1. Ellyfunt 2. Fellyunt 3. Mellyfunt  4. Heffalump 5. Woozle 
Feb 23rd

Rule No. 627

Any title of a party, such as on an invitation, should end in an exclamation point.
Feb 22nd
tug3000: Did I tell you about when I got really drunk and watched the first episode of the new season at my friend's house?
Baltimary: no!
tug3000: It was a month or so ago, and I was beyond drunk, so Logan and his girlfriend took me to her place with the promise of Wire watching.
tug3000: You know how it opens with the close-up on Bunk?
Baltimary: no?
Baltimary: but go on
tug3000: Apparently, I was standing a foot away from the tv going 'Bunkbunkbunkbunk.' And in my head, I remember there were like sixteen Bunks on screen.
Feb 22nd
“I’ve noticed this: The guys who are afraid and...”
— Cary Tennis
Feb 22nd
I just added all the books I’ve read in the past three years to my virtual bookshelf on...
Feb 22nd
“If we stopped letting off the wishful steam of our hungrier...”
— From “The Woman in the...
Feb 22nd
“keming: noun. The result of improper kerning.”
— from Ironic Sans (via...
Feb 20th
“ABC News’ attempt to claim credit for breaking this...”
— Obama, ABC, and attribution:...
Feb 20th

Poutine!

Fries Cheese curd Bacon Gravy French-Canadians What could go wrong? 
Feb 19th

How to ripen a banana

1. Bring to work. No need to carry in special compartment of work-bag; banana is not in an...
Feb 18th
I finally got buttons small enough to shove through the...
Feb 17th

Aerial photography

Heli-Africa: Two photographers realize their dream of flying, at low-level, from Hamburg to Cape...
Feb 15th

Corporate questions

karmcity: When you’re really good at what you do, why is becoming a part of management always...
Feb 15th

'The bun is like lingerie'

Esquire’s guide to the best sandwiches in America does not include Groucho’s in...
Feb 14th
Not so sweet, from Indexed.
Feb 14th

Cookies are a sometimes food

An interview with Cookie Monster on NPR: Favorite word: “COOKIE!” Least favorite...
Feb 13th

Proven ways to prevent stinky feet/shoes

1. Put your shoes in the freezer to kill the bacteria. 2. Foot powder. 3. Socks. 
Feb 13th
Do you dress like a douchebag?
Feb 13th
Warch Watch
First it meant “Roman epic movie.” Then just “epic movie.” Then just...
Feb 12th

Items for today

I would like a cat named Monocle. I am going to make jam! The above items are unrelated.
Feb 7th

Things I might want to be when I grow up

Museum docent Art historian Social worker Urban sociologist Teacher Reporter ...
Feb 7th

This conversation originally contained...

Abby: OH, YOU WILL LAUGH AT THIS. david FRICKING TOLD HIS GRANDMOTHER THAT I AM A SCRABBLE CHAMPION
me: you have to play with her?!?!
Abby: which is NOT TRUE AT ALL. and now she is practicing for this weekend!!!!! and she actually plays scrabble competitively. this is going to go up in flames!
me: giant boring flames?
Abby: giant flames of wordless death.
Feb 6th

Arrg yourself!

Whenever I get certain e-mails about certain grand jury indictments, they always include files...
Feb 6th

From BuzzMachine

“The internet doesn’t need more social networks. The internet is the social network. We have...
Feb 5th

Whoa.

Dying to know what song that is playing on the car radio? Call 866-411-SONG and hold your phone up...
Feb 5th

Out with a whimper

The day before giving up meat for Lent, I am eating: -Reheated, leftover pork for lunch -Frozen...
Feb 5th

Useless/useful

Useless: I have a thanks-for-taking-our-survey coupon for a free burrito at Moe’s, of which...
Feb 5th
“This tastes like happy.”
— Leory, my spades partner and...
Feb 5th
“Tomorrow’s really Ash Wednesday? Couldn’t there...”
Feb 5th
Listen Listen
Brak singing “I Love You, Baby.” Gaudi building melty-cake houses.  I wish...
Feb 1st
I am in love with this blog.
Feb 1st
Warch Watch
Favorite. Ever.
Feb 1st
“My view of journalism is that I want to make enough money to...”
— Tribune CEO urges action,...
Feb 1st

In defense of art

I am officially a diva for my art. -Two hours of wrangling over which photo prints to give to...
Feb 1st

Things I didn't know were in my gym...

-An ironing board -A three-way mirror -My back fat 
Feb 1st