Cake or Death?

A dear elementary school friend, Allison Oubre, was killed this week in a helicopter crash off the coast of San Diego. She was engaged to be married in just a few months, and she was an incredibly accomplished young woman, with a degree from Vanderbilt University and a commission as a U.S. Navy helicopter pilot.

We had reconnected recently on Facebook with the typical “You look great! So glad things are going well for you” sort of sentiment. She did, and I was. The rest of us group of girls pulled together this week after we got the news of the crash, and we’re organizing some donations to our school in her name, sending cards to her family and Mass will be said this weekend in her honor, but it all feels hollow and “too little, too late,” as these things often do. I’ve accepted that.

But, also as these things often do, it’s brought the rest of us together. We’ve begun talking about a reunion and reminiscing about our days at Holy Family, a small Catholic school in Hawaii. My family lived in Honolulu for six years, the longest I’ve ever lived anywhere. My mom taught at the school, and then became its principal, and my brother and sister also attended. For a military brat, where home is where you’re stationed and military bases are comfortingly familiar worldwide, I’m startled to realize those years and those friends are some of the most stable I’ve had in 28 years.

What hurts so much about Allison’s death is how young she was and how full of promise she and her life were. And I don’t just mean the potential to do great things, which she surely would have, but that she already had been. To be an officer in the U.S. military — to serve in any form — is a huge accomplishment and takes a type of rare dedication and commitment that I unabashedly admire.

Allison died less than a week before Memorial Day. It’s the first time I’ve had anyone to personally remember today, beyond my grandfather, who served in the Army Air Forces in World War II. Please keep Lt. Oubre, her fiance, and her family in your thoughts and prayers today.